Q: Is it ever appropriate to decorate the orange tree in your yard for Christmas?
A: Yes, but only of you're a University of Florida fan and you're putting up blue bulbs.
We're full of quandaries here in the land of wackiness. The neighbors have started putting up their Christmas decorations this weekend, but because of the warm weather and lack of ice on the roofs, they just don't know when to stop. So, after my brief escape, I mean walk, around our neighborhood yesterday, here are my Tips for Outdoor Decorating.
1. Please limit yourself to one Santa per display. If Santa is both kissing his wife and climbing up to the chimney at the same address, one of them is a fraud. And I'm not sure which one of them I'd shoot first.
2. Santa + Baby Jesus = Tacky. Seriously, Santa praying at the manger? That's just you trying too hard.
3. More than eight reindeer on the lawn is too many unless they're already hitched to the sleigh. Seriously, think of the neighbors' bushes and your lawn. Eew!
4. If you're doing to deflate the decorations during the day, could you put them in the garage? It looks like Santa died. Or passed out in the gutter. If you can't afford the electricity, maybe you've got too much out there.
5. One word: spellcheck.
2 comments:
ROFLMAO! Oh, yeah. I love the ones whose lawns just VOMIT Christmas. Candy canes + blow-ups + Nativity + stuff on the roof + year-round lights. Can't wait till it's time to go check out lights around here.
Ha! This just CRACKS me up! We love our plywood decorations in Wisconsin--let me tell you!
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