That tan bunny -- what a pretty boy!

The Boy and I are reading The Trojan War together. And the only way that that The Boy can understand and remember what he's reading is to act it out with WebKinz.

Today, the small tan bunny (Paris, prince of Troy) challenged the fuzzy lamb (Melelaus, king of Greece) to hand-to-hand combat that would hopefully end the Trojan War. The bunny got to make the first spear shot, but it was deflected. The lamb countered with a spear through the bunny's shield, but then broke his sword on the bunny's helmet. The lamb then dragged the bunny across the battlefield by the helmet plume. The bunny's helmet strap broke just before he choked to death, and a tiny dog (Aphrodite) whisked him back to Troy before the lamb could finish him off.

Naturally the lamb (along with the entire Greek army) was sure that the bunny was hiding behind the Trojan lines. After all, the bunny did have a reputation as a pretty boy and a coward. The fragile truce was broken when the monkey (Palemedes, a Trojan) fired an arrow at the lamb from behind the Trojan lines, injuring him. At that point, the entire Greek army swarmed the battlefield in rage and the war continued. Bad scene. ;)

The Boy remembers all the character names, remembers all the action, and -- get this -- remembers most of the lessons that the Greeks were trying to tell us. He can tell you the entire story!

See, as a baby, the tan bunny had been abandoned on Mount Ida because the white cat (Hecuba, his mother, the queen of Troy) had heard a prophecy that he would cause the destruction of Troy. He was rescued and raised by shepherds, so he grew up playing the lute, watching sheep, and lying around looking at his lovely reflection.

Because of his naivete, he was chosen to decide which of the goddesses was "the fairest", and by choosing the tiny dog (Aphrodite), he gained the most beautiful woman in the world as his wife. He left the bluebird (Oenone, his goddess wife), travelled to Greece, seduced the white bunny (Helen) from right under the lamb's nose, and whisked her away to Troy under the cover of night.

Unfortunately, the lamb's brother was the llama (Agamemnon), the overlord of all Greece. In his greed, the llama escalated this event into an all-out war, ill-fated from its beginning. In fact, the llama had to sacrifice his own daughter to get a favorable wind, and at last report, his wife was keeping his axe sharp, waiting for his return. (We think she's going to kill him as soon as he lands.)

It turns out that the Greeks were better armed and trained, but the Trojans had unlimited reinforcements and supplies. The war was a stalemate, only exacerbated by the llama feuding with the pink penguin (Achilles, Greek warrior extraordinaire). Talk about spoiled brats -- that pink penguin was a real stinker. Almost as bad as the llama.

See, pestilence was marching through the Greek camp, and the llama refused to ask the seers to find out why. (He was actually afraid it was related to that whole daughter-killing thing.) The pink penguin manned up and called an assembly, promised the seer immunity, and found out that it was a pretty easy problem to solve. Apparently, one of the slave girls that the llama took as booty (!) turned out to be the daughter of a priest of Apollo in Troy. After a temper tantrum, the llama agreed to return the slave girl, but only if he could have the pink penguin's favorite slave girl in exchange. The pink penguin flew into a helpless rage and refused to fight for the Greeks anymore until the llama made good. Then he went crying to the black horse (Thetis, his mother, the sea nymph) to get the grey dog (Zeus) to cause the Greeks to lose unless the pink penguin was fighting.

Don't get me started... Babies, the whole bunch of them.

So far, I'd say the beagle (Hector, prince of Troy) is my favorite so far, even if he is a little insensitive to the bunny's lack of fighting prowess. Still, he's bold, brave, clever, and a great warrior, both physically and mentally. He has some awesome, crazy strategies! Besides, I've always liked beagles.

Honestly, it's better than Jersey Wives...