Okay, I've been reading "Happy Housewives" blogs, and I've decided I'm not typical. (Who finds this a surprise? Really?!) Here's what I'm talking about.
When my grandmother was growing up, men wanted to be men -- get a job, support a family, buy a house. Women wanted to be women -- get married, raise kids, keep a house. It wasn't a choice. Men often worked at the same job for 40 years before retiring. Women kept house for those same 40 years. Simpler times.
But times have changed. Men often change jobs every two years, and not just job locations, but entire careers. Why wouldn't women need to be prepared to do the same? A woman may start as an x-ray technician, become a mom and housewife, return to working at a preschool, re-train and return to x-ray technician, and return to being a housewife -- all within 15 years. Wouldn't we need keep our options open?
And, seriously, isn't it our responsibility to our families to be this flexible? What man wants to have the complete, unending burden of being chained to a job to keep the family fed? (Okay, some, but I'd think the burden would get old and stressful, especially in this economy.)
Here's what I think went "wrong" between 1936 and now. Women have become independent of men. We simply don't need men in order for us to become adults. We go to college, get jobs, make friends, buy cars. Any second-grade girl who, during career week, writes, "I want to be a mommy and housewife," will be counselled otherwise.
And since women no longer need men for survival, men have discovered that they can remain children for their entire lives if they want. Who would want to get a steady job and support kids if he didn't have to? Call it male liberation. (Men's lib?)
The conservatives plan to solve this problem by re-enstating women in their "appropriate" dependent, domestic role, and recasting men as the dominant protector of the race. Will this work? No. Of course not. The genie is out of the bottle.
Yes, we should be keeping the houses clean and well-maintained. We should be making homes from houses and making neighborhoods from nearby houses. We should be rearing decent, well-fed children. But it is extremely difficult for families to do this when no one is home 10 hours a day. Two-income families often spend all their evenings and weekends trying to catch up. Sometimes, this is fun -- a challenge to be met as a happy bunch of adventurers. Sometimes, it just sucks.
2 comments:
You said it, sister.
I seriously do not even begin to understand how some mothers manage to keep a perfectly clean house, cook delicious and nutritious dinners and stil have time to make adorable crafts (or become successful bloggers) when they have small children at home all day. And then some of them manage to do the same things while working full time.
I work 3 days a week and on those days things simply don't get done, my kid eats dino-shaped chicken nuggets and I am completely burnt once I put her to be and just need to zone out.
And why WOULD a man choose to grow up and be responsible when they don't HAVE to get married and support a family anymore?
I look forward to going to read the other 2 parts of this. But I have to get ready for work right now :-)
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