Mmm. Holiday food...

Crackers. Because apparently it's tacky to eat Boursin with a spoon.

 

It's not just for breakfast anymore...

This year, next year...

Well, it all went pretty well. Monday was nuts, of course -- up by 9:00, kids up by 10:00, out the door by 10:30, at Grandmother's by 11:00. Birthday lunch, cake, singing, presents. Out the door again by 1:00. Naps all around. Back into clothes by 4:30, church at 5:00, Chinese food, showers. Max and Ruby Christmas DVD at 9:00, cursing at 10:30 when there are still six episodes remaining. Kids to bed at 11:30, wrapping, labelling, arranging, bed at 1:00.

Up again at 9:00 for presents and grandfather. Swap out the grandparents at 11:00. Grandmother leaves at 1:00. Collapse. Swear. Feel queasy.

This is our typical holiday.

The Girl is totally uninterested in Christmas presents. For her birthday (Monday), she got a pop-up Alice in Wonderland, a Martha Speaks book and doll, and a pink fleece neck pillow. She loved them. She carried the Alice in Wonderland book to church on Christmas Eve. Christmas was of no interest to her, unless it was something she's usually not allowed, like hand sanitizer or scented markers.

I think The Boy has finally conceded that Santa is his parents, and as such, is not magic. The Husband wrote 'From "Santa"' on his presents, and after an initial squalk, The Boy was cool with it. He later said he's like to be able to thank Santa for his computer. I told him he could probably find a way to do that and winked, and he said thanks and hugged me. Then he went to thank the other half of "Santa". Nice. :)

So, the real question is, "What will I do next year to avoid being unhappy next year?" Because I really am unhappy at Christmas. A lot. I hate cooking. I hate decorating. I hate wrapping. I love old old music. I love velvet dresses. I love white lights and candles. I love Loreena McKennett.

Tragically, my kids idea of a great Christmas and my idea of a great Christmas are mutually exclusive. The Girl actually screams when I sing, screeches when we light Advent candles, fusses when I put on music. The Boy loves flashing colored lights, SpongeBob Christmas, piles of presents and all the crappy decorations they've ever made since preschool.

 

See the problem? So, I'm not sure what to do differently next year without totally ruining everyone else's Christmas. But I'm pretty sure it starts with ear buds and my own tree. And an escape hatch somewhere behind the stove.



Christmas advances...

Well, Pie Day was a total washout, but I don't care. I'll bake tomorrow.

I read the "shoot from Jesse's stump" reading for the Lessons and Carols service this morning, and stood around after church with Good Episcopalians, remarking how this is a good time to be from Minnesota. Lovely weather here...

We went to a radio-show-play of Miracle on 34th Street, and Santa was very convincing. My husband almost died of mortification because his kids are so weird. We had The Glaring Woman three seats over from us -- you know, the one who's already giving you the stink eye before the show even starts 'cause your kid is fidgeting. I plied the kids with candy canes, and they were pretty good until intermission. Tragically, there were Reese's Peanut Butter Cups at the snack bar before The Girl and I went to the bathroom, but they were gone by the time we got back. Cue meltdown. The husband took her for a ride in the car while The Boy and I witnessed the Birth of Faith in a feminist's heart. Y'know, the stories that Made Our Country Great.

Still, it was good to get out around other people who at least seem to like me. Now, I'm hiding in the den with my peanut brittle, waiting for The Man to bring home Pizza Hut.

New tradition -- tourtiere on New Year's Eve. :)

Mmm. Except, we use beef and pork, and we use cinnamon, instead of thym et de sauge séchés...

Candy and polite dogs

Today was Candy Day -- peanut brittle (that turned out FABULOUSLY, thankyouverymuch), spiced walnuts, spiced pecans, white chocolate mint bark, chocolate-peanut butter no-bake cookies. Basically I cooked things that stuck to pots and required a candy thermometer. I think I overcooked the no-bake cookies -- they're a little dry. Not that it's slowing the kids down any. Tomorrow is Pie Day. Turns out, tomorrow is also a children's play, so maybe tonight is Pie Night.

Meh, either way, I just don't care. Christmas is supposed to be a time for togetherness, but no one will even go for a walk with me. *sigh* Maybe I need a dog. Oh wait, she'd just eat all the no-bake cookies and then throw them up on the carpet... Maybe I'll stick with kids.

Funny note: if I ever do get a dog, I'll have to name it "Please". Every time I have to handle a dog, I keep saying "please". As in, "Sit, Please." Or "Come, Please." Whatever I say to a dog is always followed by, "Please." I'm so strange.

Probably...

I think I had children because I was lonely. Is that weird?

Eyes out of the cockpit!

Got my eyebrows done and my hair cut. Bought a couple of Christmas presents and a load of groceries. Nuthin' much. The Husband and The Boy fixed the tree while I was out. We're on our third load of laundry.

I swear, the hardest part of shopping these days is that my eyes try to see EVERYTHING at once. I swear, I must look like this:

Well played, retailers. Well played... (On a brighter note, don't my eyebrows look nice?)

Cue the laugh track!

The Boy went to his first youth group meeting at the church tonight. The woman leading the group is what I would charitably call "bubbly". I'm not sure what the uncharitable description would be, but "overcaffeinated, in a nice way" might cover it. Her daughters are the same way, but The Boy says once you get used to it, she's really, really nice. I wasn't sure about this group because they're older than he's used to, but they make me feel warm all over. Belonging is one of the most wonderful feelings ever...

Green Girl asked if we were ready. I'm thinking... Hmm... NO! But we're obviously not getting any snow, so I've got time. We have NOTHING on the calendar until Monday, so I'll pull the trigger on the last Amazon order before I go to bed tonight and then we'll wade in, starting tomorrow. First cleaning, laundry, groceries. That'll take two days. Then shopping, wrapping, cooking will take the other two days.

Easy-peasy, right? If you listen closely, you can hear God laugh!

Still...

Brr. Cold here today -- had to close the windows. WTF?

Still no mortgage. Laptop is still broken and the second shipping box from Toshiba still hasn't arrived. (The first didn't arrive at all.) The bathroom window is still waiting for me to call the window dude to fix it. The bills are waiting for me to figure out what my online banking ID is. Again. The bottom string of lights on the Christmas tree is still waiting for us to unload the tree, remove all the lights, shift them down, and re-decorate the tree. And I'm still trying to figure out how to go to the grocery and get walnuts so I can make chocolate Mexican wedding cookies. My whole house is "still". Not a creature is stirring, including The Boy. Oh, he's awake, but I have to go pry the iPod out of his clammy hands. Still working on that...


Update 3pm : And I still haven't figured out how to fix the kindle fire's power jack or gotten out to the hardware store for a replacement handle for the toilet. *sigh* Why is it always me doing this crap?

Stood up by homeschoolers! (And other sad stories)

So, we got stood up by the new homeschool group that I was checking out. So much for them! Seriously, they have 25 people on their facebook membership, and we were there for an HOUR and no one showed up for their Christmas party. *sigh* I knew that a few people had bailed because of illness or fatigue (from spending a three-day weekend at Disney), but I thought a few people would show up. I made a dish-to-share and got my two unisex/all ages/under $3 gifts wrapped, and -- nuthin'. (In case you're curious, they were Christmas Pez dispensers! Anyone want one?)

So we went out for McDonalds, visited Office Depot, bought The Girl some new sneakers, and were home in time for Dinosaur Train at 1:30. Still sad.

We're also in the process of buying a vacation house Up North in The Husband's home town. The credit union up there gave us 3.25 percent, so we went with them. Big mistake. They don't know their heads from... something that isn't their heads. And neither do the local lawyers we hired. If we don't close in the next week, the current owner is going to have to pay post-fiscal-cliff capitol gains tax rate, and she plans to take it out of our hides. Still sad.

Anyone want to come clean my house for me and bake some cookies? And while you're here, can you figure out why I can't seem to put together an outfit? I suspect that I'm just too cheap to wear anything but shorts and t-shirts, but I need confirmation...

It's a three-bowl night...

Where is the line between three desserts and an eating disorder? My world is conspiring against me and I am helpless. The Christmas cooking has started and the Pepperidge Farms Christmas cookies are buy-one-get-one at the grocery. But mostly, I'm just sad.

My son took the Newtown shootings pretty well. He didn't see much difference between this shooting and the last three. Which is very sad in and of itself. Add to that the Anarchist Soccer Mom's essay on mental health and the president's plea that we find a way to do better, and I'm just about comatose. Maybe seeking solace in several bowls of Peppermint Stick ice cream isn't unreasonable.

Now, if someone could just tell my digestive tract that it's going to be okay, I'll be moving right along... No pun intended.