La grippe strikes the looney bin

Turns out the reason Lora was wearing bananas on her head yesterday was that she saw someone do it on TV. Makes sense to me. ;) Yeah, and it was a dancing cartoon duck made up of letters. So, sure -- I'd do it, too. ;)

I've come down with some kind of cold today, so academia will just have to wait. We did math, handwriting, and a little grammar. The Boy apparently works best when he doesn't have far to go. Yesterday, I thought he'd never finish.

The Husband is being taped for a local television show this afternoon. The Boy doesn't want to watch it because, well, because it's embarrassing. I think it'll be fun.

The Girl managed to break a compact fluorescent bulb this morning while playing Cowbear. To play Cowbear, basically, you get a lasso and start knocking things on the floor. That explains the lamp. The office needed to be aired out and vacuumed anyway, right? Eeeeeverything has a silver lining. I just have to repeat that until I believe it... ;)

I can't remember the things that I wrote in yesterday's blog that I said I would write about later, so it'll have to wait until tomorrow. Or whenever my brain congeals again, whichever comes first.

Love, don't wear bananas on your head.

I always come up with such great blog topics while I'm in the shower or during school, but I always forget them when I finally get to the computer. So I'm just going to blog anyway. How's that sound?

The above quote was yet another in a long list of strange things I've said in the last week. For some reason The Girl was wearing the banana bunch that I had just brought back from the store, and without hesitating or getting overly excited, I simply said (in my best kindly mom voice), "Love, don't wear bananas on your head. Put them down." Welcome to my world.

We have two weeks to go until the Official End of School. At our house, anyway. I'm running out of work, and the public schools get out soon anyway, so what the heck. The Boy will run out of A Beka math pages this week. They both ran out of spelling lists last week. We're finishing up the Babylonians this week, and doing Crete next week. (Long story -- remind me to tell you tomorrow.) I'm making up grammar review sheets for The Boy.

This morning, The Boy started on his Calvert entrance exam. I started him on reading comprehension this morning, and I was shocked -- SHOCKED I tell you -- at how far he got! Considering we have done almost no formal reading comprehension this year, I'm impressed. ;)

We're reviewing punctuation, capitalization, possessives, contractions, and parts of speech tomorrow. Wednesday, he'll take the grammar part of the exam. Friday, after we finish our section on fractions, he'll take the mathematics portion. I'm putting off the composition until next week. Yaag! He's so pitiful with writing. He just can't organize it all and then write it. From his self-centric place in his mind, he can't imagine that we don't already know what's in his head, so it's hard for him to write about it. Or he has trouble organizing his thoughts. Or something.

He just asked to read with me now, but I've told him he has to finish his math first. Sneaky me!

Lora passed (or is it failed?) the Verticity entrance exam for a language-based learning disability. Now they want $55 before they'll even fork over their entrance exam. Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it NEXT WEEK.

Then, I get to put together my homeschool portfolio and have it reviewed. "Did they make any progress this year?" "YES." "Oh, good. Carry on." I'm not too stressed about it, but I have to do it anyway.

Remind me to tell you about my new organizational system for the fall. It's cool...

It's stress-over-the-curriculum time...

I'm considering using the Calvert Homeschool program.It's a complete soup-to-nuts program for about $780, which would come from The Indulgent Grandmother. Tell me why this isn't a good idea. I'm sure there's a good reason, right? http://www.calvertschool.org/accredited-homeschool-curriculum/

In one way, it appeals to me because it's complete and visually attractive to The Kid. On the other hand, it won't be as much fun as creating my own material. On the other hand, it won't be as stressful as creating my own material. ;)

The Boy wold be 4th grade. I think that this year, I've gotten him up to grade level and ready to really learn, so his splinter skills wouldn't be a problem. There's a sample lesson plan at the very bottom of this page: http://www.calvertschool.org/engine/cal/files/library/HS044SampleLesson.pdf

Calvert also has a sister program called Verticity, which is designed for children with "language-based learning different (LLD). If there was ever a child who was language-disabled, it would be The Girl. I would place her in 3rd grade. I think we've brought her up pretty close to 3rd grade, except for the language thing. This year, they only have 4th through 6th, but they're adding 3rd for the 2009-2010 year. A sample lesson is here: http://www.verticylearning.org/images/pdfs/v_samplelesson_g4_red.pdf The cost for the Verticity is $1,250, bringing the total up to around $2,000 for the pair. Ouch.

But I keep thinking there has to be a catch. Do you know what it is?

Sleep, beautiful sleep...

Okay. I've had enough of this.

All my adult life, I've had one child-rearing rule that I have never violated, even after having children. My kids watch TV, they eat candy, they refuse to eat spinach, they weren't toilet trained by 3 years old. But to date, I have held the line on letting them sleep in my bed. But no more. They've finally broken me.

The Girl has taken to waking at 3am and coming to visit us. We have two choices: let her sleep with us or take her back to her room and hope that it doesn't wake her up. Because, boy howdy, if she wakes up, she'll be up partying until 5am or whenever The Husband has to get up for work, whichever is later. So, The Husband, sometimes without even waking me, has allowed her to sleep on his side of the bed while he goes to sleep on the couch. Ooh. Bad. On the other hand, I get to sleep most of the night. Oh sleep, how fondly I remember you...

Then The Boy got a cold. (You can look down below to see how well he handled it.) The only safe, comfortable place that could keep him from weeping uncontrollably (at 10:30 pm) was -- you guessed it -- our bed.

What is it about the magical realm of The Big Bed? I remember its magic from when I was a child. The Big Bed was lofty and elevated. Its sheets were cool and smooth. The pillows smelled like "parent". It was a land unto itself, forbidden territory.

And now, my kids have discovered that. It's gotten to where The Husband and I are considering buying ourselves a new bed and letting the kids keep the old one. Oh sleep, beautiful sleep. How fondly I remember it...

And why can't they make decent bras?!

Somehow, The Industry thinks that if we're "petite", we don't need any support at all. Sure, when I was 25, it was just a gesture of politeness to wear a bra, but now?! Sorry. Like two dead gophers. Being held up by a little lycra and some foam disks? I SO don't think so.

I mean, I appreciate Playtex making a 38-A 'cause no one else will, but maybe I can put some boning in to make it underwire?

Somewhere out there, someone is a "normal" size, but those of us on the fringes will continue to sow the seeds of discontent. Rise up!

Praying to the porcelain god

Okay, why didn't I see this one coming -- before his college days, anyway?

The poor child was DYING of a cold. Is there a male version for the term "drama queen"?

Easter: The Aftermath

"Honey, don't rub your chocolate on the cat."

Chalk up one more ridiculous statement I never thought I'd hear come out of my mouth...