It's child abuse...

My kids are abusing me -- I haven't slept in weeks. Are my kids newborns? No, not even close. They're just trying to kill me.

The Boy is a night owl, like me. Left to his own devices, he stays up as long as he's physically capable, plus a half hour. Then he tries to sleep all day. Yesterday I got him up at 9:30, 10:00, 10:15, and finally succeeded at 11:15. He stayed up until at least 1:00 this morning, which is when I fell unconscious.

Why, you ask, would I allow a child to stay up that late? After all, he's only 11.

I like to have a half-hour to myself before I go to bed, just to unwind and have an independent, complete thought. So, I curl up with the laptop and The Boy annoys me until I give up, somewhere around 1:00.

Then, The Girl (my morning child) wakes up at 6:00 the next morning. This morning, I got up at 6:00 to help her change her "girl sticker", medicate her, and go back to bed. The Husband goes off to work at 7:30, and I stagger out around 8:30. The Boy is unwakeable (is that a word?), and it starts all over again. By dinnertime, I'm just about to collapse on the floor.

Today, I say, "No more." Here's the plan. You have to tell me if I'm crazy.

6:00 is dinner.
6:30 is cleaning up and watching the news.
8:00 is The Boy's shower and The Girl's walk and shower.
9:00 is reading with The Boy. (The Girl puts herself to bed around 9:30.)
10:00 is The Boy's snack and brushing teeth and The Girl's tuck-in.
10:30 is The Boy's bedroom time and my quiet time.
11:00 is LIGHTS OUT.

At 11:00, I swear on all that is holy, I'm turning the lights off, even if I have to throw the circuit breaker.

So, now the question to you all is -- what is the penalty for breaking the "lights out and don't leave this room unless you're vomiting or bleeding" rule? (Death? Please say death or dismemberment...)