Wednesday, August 7, 2013

My son, the house pet

The boy wants to know why he can't live like the family pet for the rest of his life. I have two questions. What do I tell him? And where, oh where, did I go wrong?!

I blame video games for giving him a false sense of achievement and excitement. He is so lazy lately that he can't be bothered to make his own mental images if I read to him. Seriously lazy.

They say that sleeping too much and lethargy are signs of depression. Hmm.

I tried to explain the whole contributing to the planet, humanity, and the American economy thing, but he's against the idea. What now?

I'm thinking of boring him into submission. He'd have to get off his ass then, right? All I need to do is take a pair of garden shears to all the cables in the house.

Oh! I just imagined the ensuing carnage. It wasn't pretty.

This pediatrician on Thursday better have some good ideas or the phone number of a really good shrink.

But in the mean time, any ideas?

1 comment:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Ha! He knows he's got it good, doesn't he?
I find my children become total lethargic, self-indulgent and entitled brats if they have screen time before noon. After 12 they can handle it fine, but there's SOMETHING about them doing it first thing in the day that wrecks them. Have you ever found that to be true?