Low carb what?!

You know that low-carb diet is starting to kick in when the sign at the church down the street starts to read:

FAITH AND SORBET

Uh, I mean DOUBT. When does doubt start to look like sorbet? When you're really jonesing for a bagel...

A Haiku for President's Day

A Haiku for a school holiday:

Today there's no school.
Nap until something good's on
the television.

So, how was your day off? ;)

A Haiku for Sunday

I was inspired this morning:

Man drives minivan.
How can this be possible?
Must be Sunday church.

See what I did there? ;)

WHY?!

Every time I try to teach my daughter science, her response is always the same:

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?!!"

(And, no, it doesn't matter how I teach it.)

Seeds are tiny plants, waiting to be born. "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?!!"

Water can be solid, liquid, or gas. "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?!"

Insects have all their legs and wings on their thorax. "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?!"

The moon is a different shape, depending on when it comes up. "WHY, OH WHY, ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS, MOM?!"

When you breathe, air goes into your lungs. "WTF MOM?!"

I'm starting to wonder the same thing she is...

So sorry...

I'd like to personally apologize to my sisters Up North. On Saturday, I foolishly pulled up my annuals to encourage them to self-seed -- thinking that winter was pretty much done down here. Now it's below freezing and any exposed tiny little seedlings are pretty much toast. But that pales in comparison to the deep freeze I've inflicted on you. Please accept my apology.

For my penance I must use really cold tap water for the next three days. See, our water pipes are about 18 inches below ground, and I've often been tempted to paint "T" for "tepid" on the cold water taps. Much to my shock, I washed my hands this morning in really cold water. Flash back to Connecticut.

Again, SO sorry...

The price of letting them grow up...

Y'know that awkward year when you're between the kids' shoes and the adult shoes? It's about size 6-1/2 for boys?

Well, we do NOT. The Boy just jumped from size 6 to size 8 -- almost overnight. I think we're moving into the Expensive Shoe Years now. It's that age from 12 to 17 where boys bankrupt their families by wearing a pair of shoes for six weeks then outgrowing them. Silver lining: he'll outgrow the shoes before they start to really stink. And just when I'd spent all my spa money on size 34A bras for The Girl. Oh well...

New adventures in senior living...

New adventure. My dad's apartment complex was just sold this week but we don't know what they're going to do with it yet. He has seven months left on the lease, but he probably should be in an "independent living" situation anyway. He's not interested in spying on the place down the street, so I guess I'll have to go myself and find out about costs, waiting lists, etc.

It's not asssisted living -- it's independent living. Basically, they feed everyone once a day, take people on field trips, organize the chess club, provide housekeeping, etc. He still has to bathe, take his meds, make his lunch, etc. himself. When you consider the cost of rent, utilities, food, car, cable TV, etc. it's not as expensive as you'd think. He turns 78 this year, and he's really slowing down -- bad knees, back, ankles, etc. -- so it's not a bad idea. Besides, he'd only be moving a few miles and will actually be closer to us than before. We'll still take him to Sam's Club, and I'll still drop The Boy off when I take The Girl to ballet. It's right next door to his favorite restaurant. It's not "a step closer toward the grave" or anything. It's just easier. Says the daughter.

Fun times ahead, I'm sure. I'll let you know how it goes...