Monday, May 16, 2011

Drama, lite

Well, it turns out that the drama of the week isn't so much my crazy in-laws as my own crazy family.

My mother called in a dread panic this morning. My brother is going to become a -- wait for it -- Catholic! Yes, a mind-washed, Pope-worshipping, leave-your-brain-at-the-door Catholic!! Oy vey.

I talked her back off the ledge, and I think she's not going to blow a gasket. Apparently, the conservative Brotherhood church he had been going to was preaching a 6,000-year-old Earth, and he couldn't stomach that. His wife won't go the Catholic church, but prefers Brotherhood. But since she NEVER goes, except to the pot luck dinners, she shouldn't mind so much. Right? She was raised Christian Contemporary, or something like that. Conservative with guitars. You know the type.

My kids went to a Christian Church for preschool, and I found them to be the most intolerant, judgemental, narrow-minded people I have ever met. I'd much rather him be in a church that was influenced by Jesuits.

Personally, I think my brother just misses the liturgy. He was raised Episcopalian, but can't stomach their "heresies". The service is essentially the same as the Catholics, so hey.

Whatevah. Gotta take your drama where you can get it, right?

Friday, May 13, 2011

Off to the races!

Well, as you probably guessed, I made it. The house is presentable. The food is all edible. The bedrooms were all ready. The children were in PJ's when they arrived. I feel so perky and capable. ;)

The family drama continues. Try to keep up. There are six siblings, ranging from 60 down to 40 years old. The youngest (and brattiest) will not be coming to Camp Barry because his wife doesn't want him to. After all, we don't love him or support him. And besides, his wife bought him tickets to the big NASCAR race in Charlotte on Sunday. Who knew that there were men that whipped by their wives in real life?

This caused the third sib (the oldest brother) to post an evil message on the youngest's Facebook wall -- something about being a bad brother, a worse father, and that God would make him pay for his sins. Something like that. I mean, sure he did abandon his child Up North, move to NC with his new wife and two kids, sever all contact with his son, and never pay another cent in child support. Sure, he is trying to make the family sell their parents' house to anyone at all, instead of letting the nephew rent-to-own it. Sure, he is totally manipulated by his evil wife. But apparently, his kids and co-workers have access to his Facebook page, and he's mortified.

What to do? What to do..? Hey, let you wife send a nasty, vicious email to all your siblings, detailing how each and every one has betrayed the others and the family in general. Let her lie unremorsefully about each and every one of your siblings and then -- listen closely -- let her sign your name to it. Oh yeah. That's a good idea. That's productive. That'll make them think you're a real man.

Of course, there's the possibility that he didn't know that she wrote the bad email. Oh well. I no longer care. I've officially had enough strurm and drang.

So we're off to the races!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Coasting into the station...

Day, what, four? Five?

I finished the bathrooms, kitchen, master bedroom. You wouldn't think that the master bedroom would be important, but with our floor plan, you walk directly past the master bedroom door when you walk from the living room to the family room. It's a long story, but believe me, it's the center of the house... It's the only truly tragic part of our floor plan. Otherwise, I LOVE our floor plan.

Anyway, I'm going to make it, I think. I have still have a few hot spots and things that I regularly over look, but I think it's starting to look like well-behaved humans live here. Bwaa-haa-haa!! Joke's on them!!

The Boy and I have just "finished" his first-ever game of Monopoly. He was interested, but after an hour and a half, he got tired and we gave up. ;) He finished with about $2000 in cash and most of the properties on the board. Is anyone else sick of passing "GO" and having to pay the $200 directly into the Income Tax? It's enough to turn a person into a conservative! I mean, there are some road maintenance expenses for the town, but how much army does a town that size need?! And those damned railroad barons! $100 just to ride the train ONCE?!

Oh. Time to sleep, eh? Yeahhh.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

House Proud and paying the price...

I know you're all on the edge of your seats. Will she drop of exhaustion and annoyance before she crosses the finish line? Or will she pull it off? Can she clean the entire house without smacking an idle child with a wet rag? Will the Swiffer duster hold up better than the feather duster that exploded in a cloud of feathers today?

Well, today, I started with an hour and a half of occupational therapy and school work, and didn't even get to the housework until 10:30. I completely tidied, dusted and vacuumed the living room and family room, including wiping down all the door facings and windows. Then I fed everyone lunch and went to ballet. Yeah, like I needed the exercise.

When I got home, I cleared out the office, cleaned it, and set it up for Auntie #1. I cleaned The Boy's room and set it up for Auntie #2. I cleaned The Girl's room and finished putting the room back together after the painting. I'm telling you, I was seriously on a roll. Until I got to the master bedroom. Then I just gave in and collapsed. Heck, it was time to start dinner anyway. (Brown rice and pork on the barbie!)

The Boy is thrilled with his newly cleaned-for-Auntie room. But later in the afternoon, I had the absolute nerve to put some Zhu-Zhu pets on his dresser, and he went ballistic. I was wrecking his nice clean room and am now banned from entering. He has put up a sign that says I'm not allowed to enter. Cheeky little brat. He did help clean it up last night, but still.

I've been setting out linens, washing blankets, etc. for the Aunties. I think I'm about three days behind on the normal laundry. Oh well, it's like a water balloon -- when you squeeze it in one place, it sqooshes out in another.

I've printed out my list for tomorrow. Two bathrooms (one large, one small), one kitchen (sink, counters, appliances, cabinet doors, fridge), plus the master bedroom. That sounds doable. Right? *snicker* At least I still have Thursday for a catch up day.

Monday, May 9, 2011

House Proud

So today, I got up early, did the usual minor house work and started on the kitchen floor. Three hours later (with a 10 minute break for handwriting), I was done. I stripped the whole damned thing with toxic chemicals and a scrub brush, and rinsed it with my floor mate. It only got one coat of wax before I had to run off to The Big City for The Girl's therapy, but I can do more later. I simply do not have the strength to do it now.

When I staggered back through the door at 5:00, I told The Husband that I had no idea what was for dinner, and he said those magic words, "I picked up some deli meat, rolls, potato chips, and fruit salad for dinner, okay?" I do love that man. His intuition is impeccable. And they're his sisters.

He doesn't have the biggest house in the family, but I want him to be proud of it. We're of the generation that tends say, "Come on in." and "Sorry about the mess." all in one sentence. Not this time, baby. Not this time.

Tomorrow, I dust and vacuum. Wednesday I clean bathrooms. Thursday, I clean the kitchen. Then I'm DONE. Or done for. Whatever.

Meanwhile, the homeowner's association has cited us for about 15 violations, ranging from broken pickets on our fence to bushes that need pruning. My attitude is that those bushes are SUPPOSED to be that size. Duh. So, yeah, I'll get to that. Real soon. Really.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Update on Mother's Day

Today, my lovely daughter gifted me with Mother's Day flowers -- for the first time, she wore her new purple dress with the flowers instead of the ratty old pink dress that I've been trying to get rid of. She walked into the living room and said, "Flowers for Mother's Day!" She cracks me up!

And when The Husband wouldn't let her eat the cake that he and The Boy baked last night, she said, "I want to eat the brownies." When we told her that it was cake for after dinner, she said, "I want to go to WalMart and get brownies." Let me tell you, when The Girl can come up with a compound sentence like that, I hop to attention. (Besides, it sounded good to me, too!)

The Boy has decided on the menu for dinner -- Pizza Hut. Um. Pizza Hut? Sure! (Translation: no cooking? Sure!) The chocolate icing and M&M's will go on the cake closer to dinner, and my mom arrives at 5:00. In the mean time, I've made the sheets for the sofa bed, and am reupholstering the nasty computer chair. My family hates it when I indulge in arts-n-crafts (like painting and home linens), so I figured I'd strike while the iron's hot!

Hope everyone's is going well, too.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Mother's Day Post

This is where my Mother's Day is heading...


In other news, I spent five straight hours painting The Girl's room pink. It's called "candy mix", and it's P-I-N-K, just like her. But at least I'm done.


Now, all I have to do is strip and wax the kitchen floor and clean the entire freaking house within an inch of its life and I'll be ready for my sisters in law.